


Sincerely, Alex

by emmiimmeme



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is gay, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Gen, I'm gay, John IS Gay, and bad at tagging, this is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmiimmeme/pseuds/emmiimmeme
Summary: Alex leaves a journal full of letters he'll never send in a library. John finds it and reads it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cellardoors_and_petrichor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cellardoors_and_petrichor/gifts).



> I'm bad at summaries wowie

Working in the library at King’s College didn’t have many perks for John Laurens, as he often got stuck with the late shift and ended up having to kick the particularly studious students out. Many of them were not particularly fond of him, but John never really cared about that. They were just students; in two years he’d never have to see any of them again. 

There was one student though; one John hated to kick out. He didn’t like to see those big brown eyes looking at him with anything close to betrayal. 

The fact that the boy looked at John with betrayal didn't mean he didn't argue. 

“I have to stay ahead in this class.” 

“Study in your dorm.” 

“My roommate is French.” 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“He needs his beauty sleep. I have to study here.” 

Of course, John never let him stay. But God, did he want to. 

One night, after everyone had left, John was picking up books people hadn't put back or crumpled up wads of paper they hadn't thrown away. He was just about done when he came to where the boy had been sitting. 

There was an old beaten up journal sitting on the floor. John picked it up and opened it. He told himself that it was only to see if there was a name on the inside, but he really wanted to see what was written. 

John felt dirty as he was flipping through the pages. The journal wasn't a diary; it was letters the boy wrote and never sent. He signed them with a simple: Sincerely, Alex. 

Some of the letters were funny. 

_Dear Jefferson:_

_You are wrong. Go fuck yourself._

_Sincerely, Alex_

Some of the letters were a bit gossipy. 

_Dear Lafayette:_

_Professor Washington is never going to sleep with you, no matter how hard you try. He would get fired. And no, that does not mean you two would get to live happily ever after. Stop it._

_Sincerely, Alex_

Some of the letters were heartbreaking. 

_Dear Mom:_

_It's been 8 years since you died today. I still miss you. I’m in New York, at Columbia. I hope you'd be proud of me._

_I still think of home. It's a lot colder in New York, and I'm glad we were where we were when you got sick. The cold of New York would have only made you worse, I fear._

_I love you, Mom. I’ll see you again someday._

_Sincerely, Alex_

There was one letter that John got stuck on. 

_Dear Library Boy:_

_Fuck you. You make it really hard to hate you for kicking me out every night when you look like the fucking greek god of college libraries. Seriously, stop being good looking. It's hard to concentrate on being the best student at this school._

_know you look at me; I’m good at telling when I’m being stared at. If it weren't for the fact that I know you'll never read this, I’d tell you to drag me off to a private study room and–_

_Well. Even I’m not dirty enough to actually write that. But do as you wish, Library Boy. I’ll be ready. _

_Sincerely, Alex_

John's heart was pounding. The boy–Alex, he knew now–knew John stared at him. And he _liked_ it! Oh, Jesus. 

John grabbed his things and the journal, locking up the library on his way out. He needed to find this guy. 

~~~ 

John read through the rest of the journal that night, although he felt guilty about it. Alex wrote plenty of letters to his mother, a couple longer, angrier ones to whoever Jefferson was, a few to “Burr,” a few very apologetic ones to a girl named Eliza, and more people John didn’t know. 

John would have given Alex his journal back the next night in the library, but John had taken the night off to go out with his friend Hercules, who claimed John “worked too much” and was “just like Hamilton,” although John had no idea who Hamilton was. Hercules had a lot of friends, so he never bothered to ask. 

John got a text from Herc that night. 

**Hey is it alright if a couple of my friends come with us tonight? Gil wants to get smashed and Hamilton just needs to relax.**

John sent a quick reply saying that was fine, and within two hours he and Herc were at a bar ordering drinks and a round of shots. “Gil and Ham are going to be a bit late,” Herc yelled over the music. “Gil likes to primp and Ham likes to put off getting ready until the last minute.” 

John nodded, taking a swig of his beer and following Herc back to a booth in the corner of the bar. The two men chatted for a few minutes until Herc looked up and waved. 

John had met Gil once or twice, but it was always brief. All he knew about Herc’s friend was that he was loud, flirty, and from Europe, although John couldn’t remember which country. Gil walked toward them, collapsing next to John after he finally made it through the crowd. 

“Bonjour, gentleman!” He said, smiling brightly. _Ah_ , John thought. _France_. “Monsieur Hamilton is ordering drinks. I told him to get something strong, as he has been in a, how you say, shitty mood all day.” Herc smiled like this happened a lot. The two talked as John watched the people in the room dance. 

After a few minutes, someone slid Gil a bright pink drink and sat down next to Hercules, breaking John’s stare. 

Oh, _shit_. 

“Hammy!” Herc cried, throwing an arm around Alex. “Glad you could make it!” 

Alex scowled, and then his eyes met John’s. He pointed at him. “I know you. You kick me out of the library every night.” 

John nodded awkwardly. “I have to. Sorry.” Alex looked at him, tilting his head, but said nothing. 

“Don’t worry, mon amie,” Gil said, smiling at John. “Alex needs to be kicked out. He spends entirely too much time studying when there are _much_ more interesting things to be doing.” 

“What, like seducing the head of the history department?” Alex snapped. Hercules snorted. 

“Does it count as seducing if it doesn’t work?” 

Alex grinned as Gil huffed, and John made the connection in his head. _Lafayette_. 

The four men continued talking and having an all-around good time for the rest of the night. John liked Gil and Alex, he decided. He got both of their phone numbers at the end of the night, and they all agreed that the four of them should go out more often. 

As John and Herc were walking back toward John’s car, John heard Alex call his name. He turned to see the smaller man running toward him. “Okay,” Alex panted. “Lafayette is gonna kill me for asking you this since I’ve been bitching about it all day, but after the library closed last night did you find a journal? Brown, old, ugly but well used? I think I left it there and I want it back, but the person working earlier said it wasn’t in the lost and found.” 

John took a deep breath and nodded. “I uh–I took it home. I figured I would give it back to you the next time I worked. The people who work the day shift have a tendency to just throw things out. It’s at my apartment, if you want to come get it?” 

Alex stared at him for a few moments before nodding. He sent a quick text to Lafayette saying he was heading to John’s apartment, but would be back in their dorm later. He followed John and Herc to the car, and John into his apartment after they dropped Herc off. 

John went into his room to grab the journal while Alex stood awkwardly in the living room. 

“Did you read it?” Alex asked when John handed him the book. 

“I–yes. I only meant to find out if there was a name but you’re a really good writer and… it was hard to stop, I guess. I’m sorry.” 

Alex didn’t seem that upset. “I started it after my old shrink told me it was a good way to get into less fights and talk about things without actually talking about them. Did you see the one I wrote to you?” John felt his face heat up as he nodded slowly. Alex then flushed, not meeting John’s eyes. “Sorry about that,” Alex said. “I shouldn’t have written that, or been so careless as to leave it in the library.” 

John shook his head. “No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have read it. It was an invasion of privacy.” Aled hummed, not saying anything, just toying with the corner of the cover. “Let me give you a ride back to your dorm,” John blurted out. “It’s too late to walk alone, and definitely too cold.” 

Alex looked up at him and John’s stomach clenched. _Those eyes_ , he thought. “All right,” Alex said. “Let’s go.” 

The ride to Alex’s dorm was short, but the silence in the car made it seem like an eternity. 

After they said goodbye, and Alex was opening the door, on an impulse John put his hand on Alex’s knee. Alex looked at him confused. “Let me take you out to dinner. As an apology for reading your journal. Or a date. Or both.” 

Alex stared at him, a smile slowly creeping onto his face. “Does Friday at seven work?” Alex asked. 

Grinning, John nodded. “That works perfectly.” 

~~~ 

On Friday at seven, John knocked on the door to Alex’s dorm. 

They went to a local Italian restaurant and talked more than they ate. They agreed on nearly everything. They both spoke Spanish and French. Alex, John found out, was actually very funny when he was in a good mood. And he was in a _very_ good mood at dinner. 

As the two men stood outside Alex’s dorm, John gently took Alex’s hand. “I had a really good time tonight,” he whispered. “I’d like to go out with you again.” 

Alex looked up at John, big eyes bright in the moonlight. “Really? You mean that?” 

John smiled and pulled Alex closer, resting their heads against each other. “Sincerely, Alex,” he said before kissing him.


End file.
